near sovereignty: ch 3 (the end, the beginning)
She hated him. Hated his beautiful face. Hated his unflinching eyes. Hated the way he could speak volumes to her without uttering a single word. Hated his hands, and their sense of entitlement to her body. But mostly, she hated herself for allowing the pure pleasure of him. Having him on her, in her, it seemed his very being had become an appendage. She was never one to play the victim. Though, as she sat up and rolled her now grass-stained dress down from her waist, she felt nothing less than one. She did whenever he was within proximity. Chlo stood up with a finality that was lost on him. Dorian didn’t know it yet, but this was the last time. Not by her own volition, but the last all the same.
As she arranged his place setting at the table, she took special care to make sure the utensils were perfectly parallel to each other. Made sure the linen was properly folded, and that the steaming hot brah did not splash as she thoughtfully poured this last cup. Never again would she enjoy and congruently abhor the task of serving his meal. She spooned generous helpings of suzon peppers and onions onto his plate, as he sat silently waiting, eyes watching the elegant motions. This would be the last time she’d puzzle over his intent concentration on her hands. When his daandu was served, she kissed him on the forehead, as was customary, to bring blessings to the recipient of the meal. Chlo was careful not to look into Dorian’s eyes. If she did, his eyes would slice right through her as he always did, knowing immediately that things would change. That things were changing.
She sat down beside him at the table, suddenly aware of another presence in the room. Without looking up, she ascertained that it was Julian. She could feel her brother’s disapproving gaze from across the room. On any other day, his disdain would have shamed her. But today, his unspoken ire affected her minimally. Today was the end, and the beginning. The sweetness and the agony of it all was heavy on her heart. Nonetheless, it was hers alone, and she wasn’t willing to share it with anyone.